Mindly Different

Coaching for the beautifully different mind

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  • When Hiding Yourself Becomes a Way of Life

    When Hiding Yourself Becomes a Way of Life

    The Psychological Cost of Masking

    There is a performance many neurodivergent people give every day.
    Not on a stage. Not for applause. In classrooms, workplaces, family gatherings, and social spaces.

    It involves studying others’ facial expressions and mirroring them. Scripting conversations in advance. Forcing eye contact even when it feels painful. Suppressing the urge to move, stim, or simply withdraw. Monitoring every word, gesture, and reaction to ensure nothing “strange” slips through.

    This performance is called masking – and it comes at an extraordinary psychological and physiological cost.

    If you have ever felt like you are living two lives – one authentic, one performed – this is not weakness or deception. Masking is the process of intentionally (or unintentionally), hiding aspects of yourself to avoid harm. It is a survival strategy developed in response to a world that does not always accommodate different ways of being.

    But survival strategies, when sustained over years, exact a steep price.

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  • Exams and the Neurodivergent Brain

    Exams and the Neurodivergent Brain

    How to Prepare and Perform Without Burning Out

    For many students, exams are stressful.
    For neurodivergent students – exams can feel like a full-body neurological event.
    It’s not just about knowing the material.
    It’s about how the brain functions under pressure.

    If you’ve ever gone blank despite studying, felt physically ill before an exam, struggled to focus in noisy rooms, or left an exam feeling ashamed rather than reflective – this is not a personal failure.

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  • Why Academic Exams Are Especially Hard on Neurodivergent Brains

    Why Academic Exams Are Especially Hard on Neurodivergent Brains

    Academic exams are often treated as neutral measures of knowledge or ability. In reality, they are highly specific neurological environments – ones that place intense demands on attention, memory, emotional regulation, sensory processing, and speed.

    For many neurodivergent people, exams do not simply test what they know. They test how well their nervous system can function under artificial pressure.

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  • Why Holidays Trigger Old Emotions

    Why Holidays Trigger Old Emotions

    Neurodiversity, Memory, and Emotional Regression

    For many people, the holidays are not only about lights, food, and togetherness. They are about memory – and memory is never neutral.

    You may notice that during holiday gatherings you feel younger than you are. More sensitive. More reactive. More anxious or withdrawn. Emotions you thought you had long outgrown suddenly resurface, often without a clear reason.

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  • Why Holiday Drinking Can Hit Harder Than Expected

    Why Holiday Drinking Can Hit Harder Than Expected

    When Alcohol Meets a Neurodivergent Nervous System

    For many people, alcohol is woven into holiday rituals – a glass of wine with dinner, a toast with family, a festive cocktail offered as a sign of belonging. Refusing can feel awkward, even antisocial, “Do not cheers with water!” Drinking is often framed as relaxation, celebration, and connection.

    But for many neurodivergent people, alcohol does not soften the nervous system. It disrupts it.

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  • When Holiday Eating Disrupts the Nervous System

    When Holiday Eating Disrupts the Nervous System

    Neurodiversity, Nutrition, and Seasonal Overload

    For many people, the holidays bring warmth, connection, and tradition. For others – especially those with neurodivergent nervous systems – they also bring a sudden and profound shift in how the body is fueled.

    Meals become irregular. Sugar intake increases sharply. Highly processed foods replace familiar, grounding staples. Alcohol becomes more present. Sleep and eating rhythms blur…

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  • Supporting a Neurodivergent Loved One During the Holidays

    Supporting a Neurodivergent Loved One During the Holidays

    Holidays are often described as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. For many families, they come with traditions, expectations, and emotional meaning. But for people with neurodivergent nervous systems – whether innate or acquired – the holidays can also be deeply taxing.

    If someone you love becomes quieter, leaves early, seems irritable, withdrawn, overwhelmed, or “not themselves” during holiday gatherings, this is not a lack of love or appreciation.

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  • How to Support a Sensitive Nervous System During Christmas?

    How to Support a Sensitive Nervous System During Christmas?

    Supporting a neurodivergent brain during the holidays isn’t about forcing resilience – it’s about working with how the nervous system actually functions. Small, intentional adjustments can dramatically reduce overload and your post-holiday exhaustion.
    Remind yourself:

    I don’t need to attend everything.
    I don’t need to stay as long as others.
    My wellbeing matters as much as tradition.

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  • Christmas and Neurodiversity

    Christmas and Neurodiversity

    When Celebration Meets a Sensitive Nervous System

    For many people, Christmas is imagined as warmth, connection, tradition, and joy. Lights glow, music fills the air, conversations overlap, expectations rise. It is meant to be a time of togetherness.

    For neurodivergent nervous systems – both innate and acquired – Christmas can feel very different.
    Not because there is something wrong with the person.
    But because the season asks a lot from the brain.

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  • When Sensory Sensitivity Increases

    When Sensory Sensitivity Increases

    What Your Nervous System Is Responding To

    Sensory sensitivity is often described as a fixed trait – something you either “have” or don’t. But many people discover, sometimes unexpectedly, that their tolerance for stimulation shifts over time. Sounds that once faded into the background become intrusive. Crowded spaces start to feel heavy. Light, touch, or emotional intensity suddenly take more effort to process.

    When this change happens, it can be deeply unsettling.
    People often ask themselves: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I handle what I used to?“

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